A LITTLE Food for Thought...

So, as is true to my nature, I have noticed that with my blog, I have a tendency to share the events that are going on, and maybe not be so prone to share my own thoughts. (You may also notice that I don't post many pictures of myself, but that is by pure nature of being the one behind the camera!!!)
I do well when I am listening to others (or try to at least) and I am good at asking questions, but sharing what is going on with me, maybe not so much. Are there reasons for this, certainly, but there I digress. So, I have decided before giving the promised update on some new ministry opportunities I am working on, I would share a few personal thoughts.
The past few months have been months of disanimo (hmm. maybe discouragement. this Spanish word just seems to fit better!) I have been meeting with 3 different discipleship groups, and this past month, we just keep canceling our time together. And the month before that, I could feel everyone else just had little motivation in seeking the Lord with me. Then, I have been training up Children's Church leaders two of whom have gotten discouraged themselves and dropped off from teaching, and the other is still raising a new group of kids in another barrio, but with little support from the church. I have also felt like I could offer little support due to those lovely differences of feelings that tend to happen between single men and women. Enter the enemy. I began to wonder. Am I really serving the Lord? Who am I, that the Lord would use me? Why would I think that I have anything to offer anyone? I began missing my friends and family from back home. My house. Even, yes, my job! I missed life as it was.
As many of you know, Str8way is a very small ministry. If we had to count, I think we would find 7 of us serving as supported missionaries with Str8way, plus our Directors Greg and Di. Which, to tell you the truth, has always suited me just fine. I like small. I think the point is not how big we are but how faithful we are to the calling God has given us. It's Jesus who should be glorified not ourselves. But, in the middle of my disanimo (sorry I have to use that word again) I even started buying into the media driven idea that bigger is better. What do I have to show for my work? Who will remember me? Shouldn't I be doing something and using my talents for something more significant than this? I began questioning being ok with small.
Enter a book I am reading. Its called Messy Spirituality (actually Espiritualidad Desordinado because I am reading it in Spanish.) I am not really endorsing the book, because I am not sure that I am whole heartedly or completely in agreement with it, but it has raised some valid and noteworthy points. Only, one of which I am going to share. Jesus was a small ministry person. Not to say in any way shape or form that Jesus is small. He's not. He's worthy of all our praise. But the point made in the book was this: Jesus has his public ministry for 3 years, and in that time he sought time with his disciples. He fled from crowds (he took compassion on them, but he didn't seek them out). He ate with people that others rejected. He healed several people. He noticed the small and unnoticeable like a woman putting in her last two coins in the offering.
What is my point? It reminded me that with Jesus, the most minuscule thing can be transformed into something World changing. God has always used the small to change the way things work. (David, Gideon, Elijah, the one lost sheep...etc) So, although I can't say I am back up to a go get-em level, I reaffirm with myself that every little act of love that we do for others and for God, is one little act of love that God could use to transform, lives, circumstances, villages, nations, and, yes, the world.
So, I ask myself. "What's so wrong with little anyway?" Maybe I will leave this world with one more disciple of Christ. Maybe God will use me to change a family by visiting their home, or a life by visiting them in the hospital. Maybe I won't speak to a group where 5000 people turn their lives over to Christ (then again, maybe I will. Who knows what God has planned). But here we go, because I will serve Him, one little minuscule act of obedience at a time.
And on that note, in the next blog, I really will share the new ministry opportunities.

Whew! See if you want me to share ever again! HA!

From my birthday. Just so I could include a picture of me for those of you who have asked where I am in all the photos.